


Look to the Future

by SugdenLovesDingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: A Christmas Carol, Aaron accepting Seb, Daddy Robron, Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 06:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugdenLovesDingle/pseuds/SugdenLovesDingle
Summary: The ghost of Christmases yet to come part of A Christmas Carol.





	Look to the Future

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by an article speculating on who the surprise cameo for the ED christmas special could be. one of the options was a grown up Seb and I LOVED that suggestion and the idea kind of started living its own life in my head and this fic was the result.

When Robert wakes up the room around him is dark. He fumbles around for his phone to check the time.

Just gone half 2. That means he’s had a full 2 hours of sleep. Two more than he usually gets these days. He sighs and turns around in his too small bed in Vic’s box room to try get comfortable enough to go back to sleep, even though he knows that’s not very likely to happen.

Because every time he closes his eyes she is there. Katie. Usually in her wedding dress, sometimes in the outfit she wore when she fell. Telling him he’s an idiot and making him relive his mistakes, over and over again. One time his mind had had mercy on him and he’d relived one of the first Christmases with his mum, the first one with baby Victoria, and the first one with Andy as their family of 5.

And his first proper Christmas with Aaron. The first one in a long time where he’d felt like he truly belonged somewhere again. Part of the family. Loved. He’d really thought he and Aaron would last forever. That that first Christmas would be the first of many. That they’d grow old together.

Now, now his subconscious liked to remind him how wrong he had been. How he’d screwed everything up, as per, and how the last good thing he’d had left in his life had been taken away from him too.

He turns around again and pulls open the top drawer of his nightstand and takes out the little stuffed monkey he’d bought on a whim a few days ago. He’d been in Hotten to set up the trust for Seb but because of construction going on, he’d had to park a few streets away from his solicitor’s office. In front of one of Hotten’s biggest toy stores. He’d wandered in after his meeting, but nothing really caught his eye until he saw that little monkey. It was nothing special, but he liked it. Could almost picture Seb wrapping his little hands around it as he slept.

He never even got to give it to him.

“I’m such an idiot!” he says to himself and throws the monkey across the room. His eyes sting with unshed tears and presses the balls of his hands into them.

“I always loved this.” A voice suddenly says and Robert jumps. “One time we lost it on holiday in Spain and the whole village helped look for it. And it turned out I left it in the playground next to the house.”

Robert opens his eyes and blinks a few times because he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Across the room from him there is a blond guy in his early 20s, holding the monkey he just threw away and smiling at it with a look of fondness and nostalgia on his face.

“What? Who are you?” Robert asks, sitting up in his bed.

“I’m Sebastian. Well… you and papa usually call me Seb or Sebby.” The guy says. “Still.” He adds with a half shrug and a grin.

“What? You’re…”

“Your son? Yep.”

“I’ve lost my mind. I’ve lost my damn mind. I’m dreaming again aren’t I?”

“Sort of.”

Robert rubs his eyes again and when he opens them again the guy is still there, just looking at him.

“But… how are you here? What? How?”

“I don’t really know the how to be honest. But I’m here to give you a look at the future. Your future. Unless you’re not up for that.” The guy says and turns around.

“Wait!” Robert calls out. “You… you’re Seb? My son?”

“Yeah. I mean… not the version of me you know now... but yes, I am.”

“And you’re… alive? And you know who I am?”

“Of course.”

“Am I… I mean… was… I… uhm… a good father to you?”

“Why don’t you come with me and see for yourself?”

Before Robert has time to even think about replying the room changes and he’s in the Mill, but also he isn’t.

“What’s going on?”

The guy Robert still doesn’t quite believe is Seb doesn’t say anything and at the same time the door opens and Robert sees himself walk in, carrying a toddler.

“We found it. Or well… Liv did.” The other Robert announces and puts the child down on the sofa.

“Yeah? Where was it?” Aaron asks, coming down the stairs.

“David’s.” Liv says, taking off her coat. She’s wearing a Christmas jumper and the headband with bouncy Christmas trees on it.

“It’s Christmas?” Robert asks but again, he gets no reply.

“Tip found it and was playing with it so you might have to stick it in the wash before you let him have it again.” Liv continues and the other Robert pulls the stuffed monkey from his pocket.

The toddler sees and hold his little hands out.

“No Seb you can have it later ok? When we’ve washed the doggy drool off of it.”

The little boy’s face scrunches up and it looks like he’ll start wailing any second but Aaron scoops him up into his arms.

“Come on Sebby, let’s go play with your blocks. Blocks are better than monkey aren’t they?”

“Course they are. He got them from his auntie Liv.” Liv says and tickles the little boy’s sides, making him squirm in Aaron’s arms.

“What? What’s going on? How… Is that you?” Robert asks and the grown up Seb standing next to him nods.

“He loves you, you made it work.”

“But…”

“Are you taking him to see her later?” Aaron asks the other Robert and hands the boy to Liv.

“No she doesn’t want him to remember her like that. I might drive up on my own tomorrow though.” The other Robert says with a shrug. “It’s Christmas after all.”

“He’s only a year old, how much is he really going to remember?” Aaron argues.

“I know. But I just don’t want to upset either of them.”

“What… what are they talking about?” Robert asks. “Rebecca?”

“Yes. She died not long before my second birthday. Heart condition. I don’t really remember her, only what you and papa have told me.”

“Wait… papa? Who… Aaron is papa to you?”

“Yeah.” Seb says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Robert wants to ask more but is interrupted by Liv’s excited yelling.

“Guys! Guys! Look!”

The toddler version of Sebastian has hoisted himself up from the floor, using the sofa for leverage, and is looking around the room, obviously pleased with himself.

The other Robert immediately drops to his knees about a meter in front of him and holds out his arms.

“Come on Seb, take a step. You can do it. Come to daddy.”

The boy sways on his feet a little but then steadies himself and takes a wobbly step towards the other Robert.

Robert watches the other version of himself and Liv and Aaron cuddle and tell the little boy how proud they are of him, and then the room changes again.

“Wait. I want to see more. What’s happening?”

Suddenly he’s watching himself and Aaron in his car, parked outside Wishing Well Cottage. There is snow on the ground and the house is decked out with Christmas lights.

“We could just grab Seb and go home.” Aaron suggests. “Leave the madness for another day.”

Robert looks in his rear-view mirror at something in the backseat and smiles.

“Nah. She’s a part of this family, she has to get used to the madness. Might as well start right away.”

Aaron chuckles and leans over and kisses Robert.

“I love you mister Sugden.”

Robert frowns in confusion but his other self doesn’t seem phased at all and just smiles at Aaron and kisses him back.

“I love you too mister Sugden.”

“Aaron changed his name?” Robert asks and Seb nods.

“He wanted all of us to have the same name.”

“But your name is White.”

“No. My mother never actually registered that. When you got custody when I was 4 months old, my name officially became Sugden.”

Aaron and the other Robert get out of the car and Aaron opens the other door to grab something from the backseat.

“Alright princess, first stop is Christmas with the family. Get ready to meet your big brother.” He says as he carefully takes a car seat with a sleeping baby in it out of the car and closes the door.

“Wait. Who is that?” Robert asks as he watches Aaron walk up to the house and stand just out of sight from the doorway.

“You knock and pretend you’re on your own.” Aaron tells the other Robert.

“What are you going to do? Wait out here? It’s way too cold for her.”

“I’ll be right behind you.” Aaron promises. “Go in, grab Seb and then I’ll knock and surprise them.”

Robert sighs but steps up to the door and knocks.

“Hello love, come on in. Is it just you?” Lisa asks as she lets him in.

“Yeah. For now.”

“Ah how is the little one doing? Any news on when she’ll be able to come home and we can meet her?”

“She’s doing well.” Robert tells her while shrugging off his coat. “You’ll meet her soon.”

Lisa ushers him further into the house where he’s greeted by the ever expanding Dingle clan.

“Daddy!” Seb yells as soon as he spots his father.

“Have you been a good boy for nana Chas?” He asks Seb, who seems to be a few years older now and is happily sitting in Chas’ lap.

“He’s been as good as gold. He and Isaac played with his new trainset all morning.” Chas tells him and Robert lifts him from her lap and balances him on his hip.

“Yeah? Looks like Santa picked the right present for you eh?”

“Is Aaron still with the baby?” Chas asks and Robert nods.

“And I see auntie Liv got to you too, didn’t she Seb?” He says and grins at Liv.

“It’s only marker, it’ll wash off.” Liv says, rolling up Seb’s sleeve a little more to show the Christmas tree she’s drawn on the boy’s arm. “He’ll get a real one when he’s 18, right Seb?”

“Yes!” The boy says and Robert laughs.

“We’ll talk about that in another 15 years or so.” He says and turns to Liv. “How’s the job going?”

“Good. Kate thinks I can do actual paying customers soon. Want to be my first victim?”

“Me with a tattoo? I don’t think so.”

A knock on the door interrupts the conversation and Chas goes to answer it.

“Oh my god! Is that her?” She asks as Aaron steps into the cottage carrying the car seat with the sleeping baby.

“No mum I just nicked a random baby off someone. Do you think they’ll mind?”

Chas slaps his arm lightly.

“Cheeky.”

“Papa!” Seb calls out when Aaron walks into the room.

“Hey Sebby. Ready to meet your little sister?”

“We had another baby?” Robert asks the grown up version of Seb still standing next to him while he watches Aaron put the carrier on the table and undo all of the straps before gently lifting the baby out of it.

“Everyone, meet our daughter, Ava.”

“She’s perfect.” Robert whispers as the room changes around him once again.

They’re in the Mill again. He sees himself looking in the mirror in the ensuite to his and Aaron’s bedroom. He’s older. His hair greying and more lines in his face than he’d like.

“Dad!” A female voice yells from somewhere in the house. “Come on, we’ll be late!”

“Hey.” Aaron is behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and meeting his eyes in the mirror. “Only the bride is allowed to be fashionably late you know.”

“Who is getting married?” Robert asks Seb. “You?”

Seb shakes his head.

“No. It’s Belle. But I did meet my first real boyfriend at her wedding. I’m bi, like you.”

“Are… do… do I know?”

“Yes. I told you when I was 15. You and papa both.”

“How… I mean… what did I say?”

“You hugged me and thanked me for telling you. And you said you’d always love me no matter what.” Seb tells him. “I was nervous but you were great. You both were. You made me feel loved.”

“Oi! You two. No time for necking in the bathroom right now. You can do that after the wedding.” Liv says, walking into the bedroom looking like she’d just stepped off the stage at a rock concert.

“We’ll be right there.” Aaron tells her. “Robert is just having a crisis about not being allowed to look prettier than the bride.”

“Shut up.” The older Robert says laughingly and follows the siblings down the stairs. The house is decorated for Christmas and a teenage Seb and a slightly younger Ava and a girl he doesn’t know are waiting by the door.

“Who is she?” Robert asks Seb.

“Melody. My cousin. Your niece. She and Ava are best friends.”

“Finally.” Ava says as she watches the adults put on their coats. “The bridesmaids can’t be late.”

“We’ve got ages yet, princess.” Aaron tells her and they follow her out the door.

“Hey Sebby, you ok mate?” The other Robert asks Seb and slings an arm around his shoulders. “You’ve been so quiet lately.”

“I’m fine dad.”

“Yeah? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know dad. But I’m fine. I promise.”

“Alright.” Robert says and pulls him into his side and presses a kiss to the top of his head.

Suddenly he’s back in Vic’s box room and everything is dark again. The little stuffed monkey he’d thrown across the room back in its place on the nightstand.

“I’m officially going crazy.” Robert mutters to himself and pulls on a jumper and slips down to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He doesn’t bother turning on any lights, knows Vic’s house well enough to find his way.

While he waits for the water to boil he mindlessly stares out the window… and sees Aaron walking down the street. Hands buried deep in his pockets and hood pulled over his head to try keep warm. It’s as if he feels Robert’s eyes on him when he suddenly looks up towards the cottage. Robert isn’t sure if the other man sees him but likes to think he does.

“He still loves you. You can work it out. Don’t give up hope.” Seb’s voice is in his head and Robert believes him. For the first time in months he has hope that things will work out and he, no _they_ , will get their happy ending.


End file.
